


Mystery, Mystery

by SereneSorrow



Category: Bleach
Genre: Gotei 13!Ichigo, Implied Time Travel, M/M, ShinIchi Week 2019
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-10-22 19:29:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17668688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereneSorrow/pseuds/SereneSorrow
Summary: The new captain of squad 11 is a mystery Shinji wants to solve.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ShinIchi Week 2019 Day 3 - Gotei 13!Ichigo
> 
> Honestly, I did not have a plan for how this story was going to go from one scene to the next. It changed directions like EVERY time I started a new scene.
> 
> Warning: bad guys die violently.

     The new Captain of squad eleven was a mystery. His face was covered in scars that obscured his original bone structure, and the orange haired man had joined squad eleven right out of the academy and two weeks later he'd killed Kenpachi-taicho during a mission under circumstances that were apparently so controversial that the whole thing was now classified, not to go beyond the Captain Commander and anyone he decided needed to know. He stood quietly menacing in the captain's line during meetings, seeming both bored and impatient and Shinji wondered if the man was even listening.

***  
***

     Fights between members of the eleventh were an everyday occurrence, you didn't even notice unless you had business with the squad, some reason to enter the eleventh's barracks.

     At least, that had been the case before Ichigo-taicho had taken over. Now, any time Ichigo-taicho himself was challenged, everyone in Sereitei noticed the oppressive reiatsu bursting into the air with his attacks.

     Ichigo-taicho didn't seem to care about the many reprimands he received from the Captain Commander.

***  
***

     To be honest, despite having never formally met the man, Shinji didn't think that there was anything more to the mystery of Ichigo-taicho than the man's privacy. A distinct lack of gossip to be found anywhere. Otherwise the man seemed entirely straightforward in his actions, he liked to fight as anyone in the eleventh did. He ignored authority as much as he could get away with, just because the chain of command didn't quite suit him, but he was willing to be a team player to avoid making enemies. He got things done but had little patience for paperwork, he wasn't the only captain of that inclination.

     Until one day Shinji happened upon Ichigo-taicho facing Aizen-fukutaicho over Shinji's own desk, the latter serious and unsmiling in a way that Shinji had never seen before and the former uncustomarily focused on the paperwork between them.

     “Uh, what's going on here?” Shinji interrupted, glancing between them and wondering why they weren't having whatever this confrontation was over Aizen-fukutaicho's own desk.

     “I was just wondering about some of these personnel requests. It seemed a bit odd so I asked around. Is there a reason that the fifth needs so much backup from so many other squads for standard hollow-hunting missions to the lower rukongai districts?” Ichigo-taicho asked without looking away from Aizen-fukutaicho but clearly in answer to Shinji's question.

     He blinked in surprise and glanced at his lieutenant. Shinji knew that he hadn't requested any backup from the other squads, all of the missions that he'd assigned were filled with members of his own squad, even if they were short-handed recently due to a number of unfortunate- _accidents on missions that had lost whole teams._

     What.

     “I have been arranging the supplementary training we discussed Hirako-taicho, but with our squad so short-handed it is hard to find time to train them. I simply thought that some backup and extra hands could give us more time to resolve the issue.” Aizen-fukutaicho's customary smile returned as he broke Ichigo-taicho's gaze and turned to include Shinji in the conversation.

     _So Aizen was giving out orders without Shinji's permission now?_ He'd had his suspicions about Aizen's inherent trustworthiness, there had always just been a feeling that had told Shinji that the man was off somehow, _but was this really all the man was up to?_ Lisa-fukutaicho did nominally the same thing when Kyoraku-taicho was too distracted to manage his own squad, and everyone knew that Ukitake-taicho's lieutenant ran the squad when the man's illness sent him to the fourth.

     There was a difference though, Shinji was neither lazy nor ill, and he wasn't going to let a man he didn't trust run his squad.

     “I don't see why ya wouldn't have suggested this to me, Aizen-fukutaicho. It's not a bad idea but these requests are my responsibility, not yours.” Shinji said coldly, picking up one of the documents that Ichigo-taicho had apparently collected from several squads.

     Neither man spoke while he read over the request, and Shinji realized why when he got to the bottom of the page. _Hirako Shinji_. That was his own signature.

     Narrowing his eyes at his lieutenant Shinji spoke coldly. “You signed my name? Since when are you a forger Aizen-fukutaicho?”

     “I didn't think you should be bothered, you have been-”

     “Do you make a habit of pretending to be a captain, Aizen?” Ichigo-taicho spoke over Aizen's infuriatingly calm excuses. “You could at least wait until Hirako-taicho is dead before you steal his job.”

     The smile that twisted Ichigo-taicho's scared cheek showed humor at the parallel to his own takeover of the eleventh. Shinji had a moment to wonder if Ichigo-taicho was suggesting that Aizen should have just killed him already and taken over squad five, but no, for some reason he didn't think that was what Ichigo-taicho was implying. Something about the animosity hanging in the air between the two made Shinji think that despite his own behavior in regards to squad eleven Ichigo-taicho didn't think much of Aizen-fukutaicho's actions.

***  
***

     Shinji wasn't generally one to make accusations against his subordinates known to the captain commander or the rest of the captains, not that he'd been in a situation quite like this before, but with the suspicions he already had about his lieutenant this was a perfect excuse to investigate the man and what he had been up to recently.

     Bringing up the matter during a captains meeting that Aizen-fukutaicho was conspicuously absent from garnered quite a bit of curiosity, as well as surprise and disbelief at both Aizen-fukutaicho's transgression and Ichigo-taicho's credit for discovering the sabotage. The man scowled at Shinji when he mentioned it and gave only short gruff answers to everyone's comments, including the sudden understanding expressed by several lieutenants that had provided the orders Ichigo-taicho had brought to Shinji's attention.

     Shinji could see several of the captains eyeing Ichigo-taicho speculatively, re-evaluating their opinion of the man they'd considered just another Kenpachi. It was a reminder that not all of the strongest swords were dumb brutes.

***  
***

     The number of forged orders, reports and other documents was staggering. Shinji had a headache just thinking about the mountain of paper sliding off of his desk back in his office. It was slow work, and he'd been lent Lisa, the lieutenant from the eighth to help, since his squad was so short-staffed and since he wasn't sure he could trust his third seat either. Ichimaru had been recruited directly by Aizen after all, the kid might be a genius but he was still kind of creepy, and he had a tendency to follow Aizen around.

     They'd been working overtime for days, and Shinji could see why Kyoraku-taicho preferred leaving paperwork up to Lisa-fukutaicho. She was ruthlessly efficient. Still, there was only so much of this minutia he could take even despite his desire to discover what his lieutenant was hiding. He needed a break, and a drink.

     It was late, and he wasn't in the mood to discuss the investigation with any of the many gossips in the Gotei, so Shinji found himself bypassing the bar that most captains frequented and finding an establishment he'd never patronized before. Somewhere that while not necessarily rough, it was too close to Sereitei for that, wasn't somewhere that looked likely to invite soul reapers of any rank.

     Which is why he was surprised to see Ichigo-taicho at the bar. He didn't know the man even drank. Well if he was doing his drinking here then of course Shinji wouldn't have noticed. Shaking his head at the thought, and regretting it as it aggravated the pain in his temples, Shinji stepped forward and ordered a drink of his own.

***

     He didn't remember much of the night. Finding a seat next to Ichigo-taicho when everywhere else was taken, the man's irritable reaction, entering into progressively less reluctant conversation as the night wore on and more drinks were consumed. Shinji had already realized that the man was smarter than he liked to appear, but while he couldn't recall most of what they'd discussed he did remember frequently feeling surprise at something his fellow captain had said.

     If he was honest the flash of memory that had him blushing the next morning, himself pushing Ichigo-taicho up against the wall outside the bar and pressing a kiss on him, wasn't really unexpected. He did have a tendency to get amorous when he was _that_ drunk. The brief reciprocation before he was shoved away, the odd look on Ichigo-taicho's face, that Shinji did find surprising.

     He didn't think it was confusion over Ichigo-taicho's own preferences, _more at why Shinji had kissed him in particular maybe?_ He found himself puzzling over that a lot as he fought through stacks of paperwork and a hangover for the rest of the day. He briefly entertained the possibility that the scars had something to do with it. _Maybe Ichigo-taicho was self-conscious?_ He dismissed that though, members of squad eleven always bragged about their scars, Ichigo-taicho would surely feel the same.

***  
***

     Shinji wasn't sure _how_ Central 46 became involved in the investigation, he wasn't even sure if it was the sort of thing that was even under Central's purview, but before he knew it the paperwork was carted off to who knows where and Aizen-fukutaicho was tried and sentenced behind closed doors. As far as Shinji, or anyone else for that matter, could find out Aizen was removed from his post and locked away as a criminal. No-one in squad two would confirm or deny Aizen's presence in the Maggots Nest and the Captain Commander had nothing to say about the Central Prison.

     Shinji scowled a lot over the matter and promoted his fourth seat to lieutenant over Ichimaru, citing the boy's young age. He was by no means satisfied by this resolution, and Ichimaru's creepy smiles didn't help.

***  
***

     Somehow, drinking with Ichigo-taicho became a regular habit, even when Shinji had to track the man down at a new bar. Shinji could admit to himself when he was having a hard time taking no for an answer. There was just something about the man that Shinji just couldn't help being attracted to when he'd been drinking, and apparently he was determined to understand the mystery.

     Ichigo-taicho put up a token protest but Shinji wore him down eventually. Tonight he'd actually gotten the briefest flash of a smile when he'd finally found his fellow captain's new drinking spot.

     “Ya don't have ta make this so difficult Ichi-chigo.” Shinji said, hiccoughing halfway through the man's name. He'd lost count of how many drink's he'd had an hour ago. _How was it that Ichigo still looked sober?_

     “I don't know what you want from me Shinji.” Ichigo said, _and when did they get outside?_

     “Huh? He-ey! Ya used my name!” Shinji realized. Despite his own tendency to forget the -taicho for his drinking partner Ichigo always insisted on calling him Hirako-taicho.

     “I doubt you'll remember this in the morning.” Ichigo dragged Shinji's arm over his shoulder as he spoke, leading Shinji down the empty street.

     “Nah, I-I'll remember... Something!” Shinji insisted, and almost tripped over his own feet when Ichigo _laughed_.

     That was beautiful. He should laugh more often.

     At the look Ichigo shot him Shinji realized he'd said that out loud. “Well ya should!” He insisted, to cover his embarrassed blush.

***

     Ichigo was wrong. He did remember something the next morning. Although Shinji did wonder why he always had memories of half-drunk/half-awkward kisses the next mornings. This one was better, he decided. Ichigo had really kissed him back, and then actually tucked him into his bed at the fifth afterward.

***  
***

     Shinji could barely see across the clearing to where Urahara-taicho was struggling to breathe through the white substance pouring from his mouth. Shinji had managed to stagger back to his feet but the others, _Kensei, Mashiro, Tessai, Lisa... Ichigo_ , were all on the ground, incapacitated by whatever this was that Aizen had done to them. Shinji wanted to check on Ichigo, face down on the ground he wasn't moving at all, he was so much more still than the others. Shinji felt panic and rage as he forced his gaze to Aizen.

     He could barely make out what Aizen was saying, he was bragging about something, taunting Urahara-taicho. There was screaming in his head, Shinji couldn't hear himself _think_. He felt himself fall to his knees as Urahara-taicho cast some kind of kido at Aizen, the light seemed blinding to Shinji's darkening sight.

     Out of nowhere blood spurted from Aizen's chest and Shinji's eyes widened in shock and then squinted as he tried to see what had happened. A cry in a familiar voice, _Ichimaru?_

     Shinji's third-seat was dragged from the tree line by- _Tosen?_

     His hearing was gone by now but Shinji saw Aizen raise something in his hand towards Ichimaru, the boy struggled against Tosen's hold but all too soon was choking on the same white substance as the rest of them as Tosen threw him to the ground and turned away.

     Shinji lost time for a moment, everything in darkness.

     When he could see again, he saw Urahara-taicho struggling to keep something from Aizen but his former lieutenant ripped whatever it was from Urahara-taicho's hands and shoved him to the ground. He could just make out a wide grin on Aizen's face as he stared at whatever it was he'd taken.

     It was the last look he'd see on Aizen's face, reiatsu crashed over them all, so heavy that it drowned out the screaming in Shinji's head and a wave of red-edged black reiatsu smashed against Aizen. A figure surged up from the ground and Shinji barely had a moment to realize it was _Ichigo_ before the man had sliced clean through Aizen's wrist and scooped whatever he'd been holding out of the air.

     An exchange of blows that were too fast for Shinji to track, Tosen leaping forward only to fall back in pieces, rietsu so heavy that Shinji choked on it as though his lungs were collapsing.

     Aizen's back with a black blade thrust through it.

     The reiatsu was letting up, Shinji could breathe, better than he had since whatever Aizen had done to him. He gasped for air and watched a figure approach. _Ichigo_. Coming closer. Leaning over him. _Was that a hollow mask?_

     Shinji felt fresh terror wash through his veins as glowing golden eyes hovered above him. _Ichigo. What happened to him? What had Aizen_ done _to him?_

     “- be fine-” Shinji heard distantly, a grating dual tone of voice emanating from the mask above him.

     Ichigo's hand reaching for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have about a page and a half more written but this was the best place to cut it, since the story isn't finished. I think there will only be one more chapter to finish it all up though since it was supposed to be a oneshot. Somehow instead of telling the story of the mysterious new captain I wound up just retelling the Visored's origins! argh, not the plan! :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I really wanted to write the whole rest of the story for chapter 2, as this was only a multi-chapter in the first place because I ran out of time before ShinIchi week, but I just haven't had the time/energy to finish the thing and it's taking FOREVER right? So here's the next bit that I've managed to finish! I'm really going to try to make chapter 3 the last chapter!

     Waking up with Unohana-taicho hovering over him was a relief, and wasn't that a surprise, the woman was terrifying. Waking up in a massive cave was less of a relief, but waking up at all made up for his confusion.

     “Your condition is stable for now, Hirako-san, however there is a lot to explain.” She said as she helped him sit up.

     Looking around he could see the rest, _Kensei, Mashiro, Tessai, Lisa, Urahara, Ichimaru_ , most still unconscious but Urahara and Ichigo were speaking with the captain commander some distance away from everyone else. If anything Ichigo looked like he was in charge, with Urahara nodding along and looking subdued, hopeless almost. Shinji was shocked to see the captain commander actually listening to the newest captain, the one that never took his orders seriously.

     “What exactly is goin' on here?” He asked Unohana-taicho.

***

     “You mean we've all been turned into hollows?” Kensei demanded furiously.

     “That's not- ah, the Hōgyoku dissolves the boundaries between shinigami and hollow. It's more like becoming both.” Urahara explained quietly under the combined glares of Kensei, Mashiro, Lisa and Shinji himself.

     Tessai didn't look so surprised, but then he was Urahara's friend. Ichigo looked more like he was moderating the exchange, as though he knew as much about what was going on as anyone and Shinji couldn't help wondering about that. More secrets. He was surprised by Ichimaru's knowing look, he'd thought Ichimaru was working for Aizen, but then the boy had attacked Aizen. _Just what was his allegiance?_

     “You still have your shinigami powers and zanpakutō, but you also have an inner hollow now.” Ichigo said next. “You'll have to learn how to work with them, just like you did with your zanpakutō spirits, it's not so much different.”

     “Not much different? It's a hollow!” Lisa yelled.

     “It's a part of you. You'll see that right away when you see them.” Ichigo said shortly, defensively. _Why did Ichigo know so much about this?_

     “No one's been able ta control it like ya' have before.” Ichimaru said, drawing all eyes to himself. He wasn't smiling, and a sliver of his blue eyes was visible as he waited for Ichigo to respond. If they hadn't thought Ichimaru had been working for Aizen before it was clear now, though why the boy decided to attack him in the end was still a mystery.

     “Maybe, but you'll all be able to do it too. Your hollow is a part of you, they always have been, they just weren't always a _hollow_. They're your dark side, the things you hate about yourself, the desires you don't indulge. You just have to accept that they're still a part of who you are, just like they've always been.” Ichigo insisted.

     “So then how did you get control of your hollow so fast?” Lisa demanded.

     “We understood each other right away, we both wanted to fight, to destroy Aizen.” Ichigo explained.

     “I suppose if anyone would be in touch with their deeper instincts it would be a Kenpachi.” Urahara commented faintly. He seemed to be having a hard time with the whole situation.

     Shinji wasn't quite sure he understood that, from what he'd heard it had been Aizen's work, Aizen's plan, and stealing Urahara's similar experiment was just another of Aizen's schemes. Maybe if Urahara had been _using_ his Hōgyoku like Aizen had been he could understand why Urahara would be in trouble. Hell, Shinji would be as furious with him as he was with Aizen, but Urahara _hadn't_ done any of the things Aizen had.

     “Just had to work out who was in charge. We fought, we understood each other, we worked together.” Ichigo said, like it was really that simple.

     Well, Shinji mused, he was captain of the eleventh. Members of the eleventh were pretty straightforward when it came to fighting and strength. Maybe Ichigo really did just fight his inner hollow like he would anyone else in his squad, and maybe the hollow _actually_ fell in line like the rest of the eleventh did...

     “So, when you're feeling up to it, one at a time you're going to go into your inner world and meet your hollows. You'll be contained behind a barrier, since you'll probably transform, especially if the hollow tries to take over.” Ichigo explained, which answered why the kido corps. were set up around the cave and so many other captains were present.

     _In case they went out of control, in case they tried to escape._ Shinji thought grimly.

***

     Urahara insisted on going first, and Ichigo insisted that if anyone was going into the barrier with him it would be Ichigo himself, there was a counter argument against him but eventually the barrier went up around only Ichigo and Urahara in the end and they all watched with apprehension as Urahara began meditating to reach his inner world while Ichigo watched over him closely. Then, right before their eyes and with a sudden outpouring of dark reiatsu a hollow mask formed over Urahara's face.

     In an instant Urahara was on his feet and charging at Ichigo much to the dismay of the spectators. Ichigo reacted instantly and met each of Urahara's wild attacks, to the surprise of all those watching.

     Shinji saw Yoruichi tense when suddenly Urahara's attacks became more cohesive, more like the style those who had seen Urahara fight before were accustomed to. It was shocking, the way that Ichigo was still able to almost predict Urahara's moves, it was as if he was used to fighting Urahara, as though they had been sparing together for years. No matter what tricks Urahara pulled, somehow Ichigo _still_ managed to keep up.

     The fight ended suddenly when Urahara's mask cracked and crumbled away and the man stumbled to his knees, Ichigo pulling his blade up just in time. Urahara was panting harshly and had a look of shock, almost horror, on his face that frankly Shinji didn't think boded well for what the rest of them would experience.

     “There, see, I told you that you could do it.” Ichigo said as he sheathed his sword and offered Urahara a hand up.

     Urahara stared blankly at the offering for a moment before accepting and walking slowly beside Ichigo to the edge of the barrier. The other captains looked skeptical but Yamamoto ordered the nervous kido corps. to lower the barrier and let them out.

     “You were able to come to an understanding with your inner hollow in minutes?” Urahara asked Ichigo faintly as they drew closer to the group of waiting holowfied shinigami.

     Ichigo looked at Urahara without an ounce of tolerance In his gaze. “Like I said, they're just another side of your own mind and soul. Denying their existence, their power, won't make them go away or hold them back. You can only accept that they are now, and have always been, a part of you.”

     “I'm not sure I like that implication.” Lisa said as the two approached them, her voice rough with emotion at seeing Urahara's violence unleashed, it was a side of him that most of them had never really seen.

     “Well, not everyone can handle their dark side, that's why most people hide those parts of themselves.” Ichigo said as his gaze swept over the lot of them.

     “Ain't often ya' find a philosopher in the eleventh.” Shinji teased, trying to ease some of the tension in the group.

     “I just know my soul.” Ichigo offered bluntly.

     “Fine. Let's just get this over with.” Kensei said angrily as he stood up.

     “Nah, I'm next.” Shinji insisted, stepping forward and fingering his sword as he watched Ichigo.

     “Sure. I don't know that order matters as long as you all do it.” Was all Ichigo had to say in response.

***

     Shinji could tell right away that something was different. He could barely concentrate enough to enter his inner world. When he managed it Sakanade was nowhere to be found but the world around him was... just off, in ways Shinji couldn't pin down and it made him feel nauseous. No wonder Urahara had looked so shaken, if he too had been feeling so unsettled in his very soul. _How had Ichigo overcome this so quickly?_

     A mad, cackling laugh filled the air and Shinji's eyes widened as a shiver raced down his spine. He looked around for the source and had to raise his blade to block a blow, narrowly avoiding being impaled by a figure as it rushed him from an unclear direction and Shinji froze at the sight that greeted him. It looked like a copy of himself, but all in black and white. The inverse of the colors of his clothes and bleached skin and hair with grey eyes instead of his own brown color. There was a wide smile on it's face, like the one he occasionally tried out in the mirror but rarely used as it laughed again, a feral glint in it's eyes.

     It's blade swung wildly, spinning in dizzying arcs that had no right to be so disorienting after all the training Shinji had gone through with Sakanade. The pressure from the figure _-the hollow-_ 's rietsu was no higher than Shinji's own but there was an edge to it that screamed of bloodlust and cruelty, grating down Shinji's spine like claws. Fighting against his own instinctive fear was as much of a struggle as keeping up with the hollow in battle.

     Before Shinji knew it he was panting for breath, covered in scrapes and shallow cuts from the hollow's blade, from the impossibly flexible twists and turns that the hollow had pulled off that Shinji was certain he could never have managed.

     If he had time he would have realized that this must be why Urahara had looked so shell-shocked after his own inner struggle. Coming face to face with a version of himself that had no restraint, that wanted blood and death and destruction. That had no compassion. Shinji didn't have the time for that realization though, he was too busy fending off the hollow's ferocious attacks and trying to block out its taunting shouts of what it wanted to do. Do to him if it caught him, beat him, devoured him. He couldn't block out everything though. That echoing voice dug into his ears and demanded to be heard.

     “Ya' really think ya' can beat me? How long ya' think they'll give ya' before they jus' kill ya'?” The hollow called tauntingly. “Ya' know I'm stronger!” he screeched over the clash of their blades, their faces only inches apart. “Ichigo's the only one in the barrier with ya', figure he'll be the one ta' kill ya'?” The hollow continued as he lept away for some distance, probably to close in again while Shinji was off balance.

     The distraction worked though. Shinji was thinking of the more successful hollowfied shinigami instead of where the next attack might come from. He lost track of the hollow's location. “Damn it, this is exactly why Ichigo hasn't given me a clear answer if he likes me or not. Can't follow simple enough directions like 'understand' and 'accept'.” Shinji mumbled to himself as he turned, trying to sense the hollow's reiatsu, trying to discover where it could be hiding.

     “What are ya', stupid? 'Course he likes ya' back.” The hollow scoffed from above and behind him as Shinji whirled around and raised his Zanpakutō to block an incoming attack that never came.

     With a blink Shinji froze as the words caught up to him. The hollow hadn't moved since speaking and Shinji stared at the other, _his inner hollow was giving him relationship advice?_

     “What the hell are you talking about?” Shinji shouted in frustration, deciding against initiating an attack himself if the hollow was willing to sit and talk. _-Understanding?-_

     With a derisive snort the hollow answered him. “Ya' think any member of squad 11 would let ya' follow 'em around, kissin' 'em and hanging off 'em and makin' 'em carry ya' home when they were jus' out for a drink ya' weren't even invited ta join in on? He woulda' beat the crap outa' ya' if he didn't like it.”

     Damn, _that made sense. How the Hell had he not_ realized _that?_ Shinji wondered.

     “Weren't ya' jus' thinkin' bout how in sync they mus' be 'cuz a the way the eleventh deals with _everythin'_ all straightforward like?” The hollow said, leaning forward and giving Shinji a look like he was an idiot.

     He _was_ an idiot.

     “So, ah... all this time...” Shinji said faintly.

     “Ya' coulda' been screwin' each other's brains out if ya'd made a move?” The hollow finished for him, before laughing hysterically at Shinji's completely blindsided expression. Adding insult to injury the hollow continued. “Looks like I'm not tha only one ya' need ta' understand better!”

     Shinji couldn't help nodding in agreement with his hollow's words. _-Acceptance?-_

     With a curious twitch of his lips Shinji's hollow sheathed his blade. “We'll pick this up when yer' done bein' an idiot, but don' think I'll make it easy for ya'!”

     Despite the time they'd spent talking at the end of their fight Shinji came out of his meditation gasping for breath as if he'd really been fighting his hollow for his life. Until his hollow had brought up Ichigo, Shinji _had_ truly feared for his life, or at least the well-being of his soul.

     Looking around and recalling Urahara's fight he realized he had been fighting _someone_. Ichigo was wearing his _mask_ which Shinji hadn't seen even a hint of until now, it looked like a plain skull but with three red stripes swiping above his left eye, and Shinji was shocked for a moment at the realization that he'd pushed his fellow captain so far but the golden eyes that glowed through the mask just watched him calmly, as if there wasn't a _hollow_ that wanted to devour souls behind that mask. After a moment the mask dissolved slowly instead of the cracking, shattering destruction Shinji had seen with Urahara's mask and Ichigo was nodding to him like Shinji had _accomplished_ something.

     Shinji couldn't return the gesture. He was still off balance from the whole experience. He didn't remember it. He didn't remember fighting Ichigo, _had_ he been the one fighting Ichigo or was it _his hollow?_ He hadn't realized, When he was watching Urahara's own struggle, that when Kisuke had fought Ichigo he hadn't been in control of himself at all or that he was so unaware of what was happening outside himself. It was terrifying, the thought that he had been so completely out of control that he didn't even _know_ what his own body, hands and blade were _doing_.

     As they exited the barrier Shinji was vaguely aware that he couldn't have looked any better to the other hollowfied shinigami than Urahara had looked before him. They were all of them going to have to learn this lesson for themselves, nothing he could say would be enough to accurately describe it.

     Ignoring Kensei's barked observation about his appearance and Lisa's curious expression Shinji sat down heavily beside Urahara, slightly away from the others who had yet to take their turn within the barrier. The scientist startled a bit, probably unsure why Shinji would want to sit closer to him than the others, Shinji didn't have the energy to work out if it had something to do with the strangely guilty way Urahara had been acting. He didn't have the energy to do much more than stare at the dirt at his feet while Kensei demanded that it was finally his turn and the barriers went up again.

     He did catch Ichimaru gazing at him, a sliver of blue visible again as the boy studied him. For probably the first time Shinji wondered what the boy was thinking. After the usual flash of distaste Shinji experienced at seeing his strange third seat who had followed Aizen around like a pet he had to admit that whether he liked the boy or not it was more than just unfortunate that a child would have to confront a hollow within his own soul. If Ichimaru had been a monster to rival Aizen then Shinji wouldn't even want to know what his _dark side_ was like, but as it was the boy was off-putting enough to most people that Shinji didn't feel much better about the idea.

     With a heavy sigh Shinji glanced at the barrier where Kensei was already battling Ichigo, looking away with a wince he caught Kisuke's own burdened gaze before they were interrupted by Unohana-taicho coming over to check the cuts that had followed Shinji from his inner world. He answered a few questions halfheartedly while his mind wandered back over his own confrontation with his inner hollow.

     They hadn't really come to any kind of resolution. His hollow seemed to have decided to postpone their fight until Shinji had sorted out his relationship, whatever that relationship was, with Ichigo. Which meant that he _did_ need to sort it out, which meant talking to Ichigo, which was going to be difficult with how closely they were all likely to be watched from now on. No more private drinks in loud, over-crowded bars followed by sloppy kisses and companionable walks back to the squad 5 barracks. Shinji had a strong feeling that he was going to miss those awkward moments more than he ever could have thought at the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, for this story I'm going with inner hollows being separate from zanpakuto spirits so everyone's inner hollow is a black and white copy of them (well, and blue tongues and whatever eye colors, but mainly black and white.)  
> so, Shinji doesn't want to see Gin's dark side... - on the other hand, I read a GrimmIchi fic a few months ago that made me think, if Shiro is what Ichigo isn't, but Ichigo is supposed to accept Shiro, then what if Ichigo starts acting like Shiro? Does Shiro start acting like Ichigo? In a world where Ichigo is an evil monster is Shiro a crybaby who feels bad about everyone Ichigo kills? So would that mean that Gin's inner hollow might actually be LESS scary than people are expecting? :D ...Or... if it's all the repressed feelings, then is Gin's hollow like, madly, obsessively in love with Rangiku? and has a REALLY strong sense of justice or loyalty or something? :P


End file.
